did <\/em>hurt them, no matter how inadvertently. However, in their pain and anger, they hurt me in return.
<\/p>\n\n\n\nI can do one of the following things in response: shut down and withdraw, then spiral into depression as this event becomes another permanent wound reinforcing my feelings of worthlessness; harden my heart and never love anyone again in an effort to protect myself; or address the foundational issues within myself that have led to this situation in hopes of preventing it from happening again.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I am choosing to heal and grow. It will be a long and difficult process. These thought patterns and behaviors are deeply entrenched\u2014some of them go back as far as thirty years, so it\u2019s inevitable that I will slip back into them from time to time. Still, I\u2019m determined to keep going, and I hope people will be patient with me as I work on this.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Recent events have proven I have no control over how others perceive me. I can do what I genuinely believe to be the right thing and try my best to do it in a kind and helpful way, and still have the other party make unfair assumptions about my motives and character.
<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This has led me to realize I can no longer base my self-worth other people\u2019s approval. I will be my weird, creative, passionate, and loving self–and rediscover how to love myself for those oft-rejected traits. Other people\u2019s perceptions of me are their responsibility, and I refuse to let them define me anymore. I know my heart. God knows my heart. My family and friends know my heart. That heart has been shattered for a long time, but I\u2019m finally facing the source of that damage and rooting it out for good. Ultimately, those are the only things that matter.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The most basic personal need of each person is to regard himself as a worthwhile human being.Dr. Lawrence J. Crabb, Jr. All my…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":421,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/beyondtheyellowdoor.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/statue-face-restyle-sunbakediris-scaled.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondtheyellowdoor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/419"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondtheyellowdoor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondtheyellowdoor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondtheyellowdoor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondtheyellowdoor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=419"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/beyondtheyellowdoor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/419\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":524,"href":"https:\/\/beyondtheyellowdoor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/419\/revisions\/524"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondtheyellowdoor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/421"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/beyondtheyellowdoor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=419"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondtheyellowdoor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=419"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/beyondtheyellowdoor.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=419"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}